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Grief & Practice - Part 2

Writer's picture: Jamal GeraldJamal Gerald

Hey! How you do?


I thought it would be good to follow up on my previous blog post, Grief & Practice. So, here’s part two. Once again, I’m not entirely sure where this blog is going to take me, but I feel it’s worth writing to see what unfolds.


Since my last blog, I attended two more funerals. Yes, that's five funerals in under a year. It’s reached the point where I can’t - and won’t - attend any more until further notice.  A friend of mine said, “We’re just getting to that age where people start dying.” That reality feels inescapable, and honestly, it’s a bit too much to handle right now.


It’s been over a year since my close friend Gina passed - it was a year on the 3rd of January. On New Year’s Eve, I went to Gledhow Valley Woods in Leeds to perform a ritual in honour of my head Orisha, Osain, and to pay tribute to Gina.


For Gina, I went to the lake in the woods to pay my respects. A babalorixá (a male priest of Candomblé) once told me that if I want to connect with my ancestors, I can go to the forest or the lake to speak to them. This is something I now do on a regular basis. Before knowing about Osain, I would simply walk in the woods and feel safe and at home. Now, knowing that Osain is my head Orisha, it feels so fitting. When you’re in nature - especially in the forest - you’re with Osain.


And yes, I’m still working on a new performance piece (keyword: slowly). We’ll see what happens with it. At the moment, I feel like this might be my last performance work. Ahhh! My love for creating performances isn’t what it used to be, but I believe I have one more in me. Since the new piece explores grief, it feels like a meaningful one to end on. Let’s embrace the endings.


Interestingly, 2025 breaks down to 9 in numerology, which represents endings and transformation. My life path number is also 9, so this feels significant.


Since my last blog, I’ve had some good news: I successfully got onto the Channel 4 New Writers Scheme! Yay! It started in July 2024 and runs until March 2025. I’m so proud of myself, and the other writers in the cohort are so lovely and talented. It’s great to experience this journey with them.


Through the scheme, I have a mentor, a script editor, training days, and masterclasses. I’m currently working on a TV pilot that will be submitted to Channel 4 for feedback. I recently completed the first draft - yasss! The pilot is called Pastor Fi Dead and is based on a 20-minute play I developed at the Royal Court as part of the Queer Writers Group. People told me they could see it as a TV series, and now here we are!


Over 1,000 people applied for the scheme, and only 20 were selected, so this feels like a huge achievement - especially since I’m so new to screenwriting. I’ve been trying to find a way out of the arts sector, and maybe this is it, haha. Baby steps, though. TV is a long and challenging process, but whatever is meant to be will be.


I’m over leading people in my creative processes, so for now, I’m happy to be someone’s “bitch” in the TV industry. Ha! I won’t give too much away, but the pilot explores friendship, grief, justice, and revenge.


On the first anniversary of Gina’s passing, I started writing Act Two, which includes a funeral, a burial and a wake. It was incredibly fitting and timely. I wrote the first draft of Pastor Fi Dead relatively quickly, and I think the grief I’ve been processing played a big role in that.

When I first began working on it, I didn’t fully understand grief. Now, after a couple of years away from the project, therapy and more life experience, I understand it better. Taking a break was necessary and beneficial.


Recently, my good friend Samra Mayanja invited me to take part in her night, The Call Centre Away Days. This will take place at Wharf Chambers in Leeds on 27th February. So, I’ll be performing a little something called A Joy Ritual. I’m only performing because she asked me to, haha.


In this work, I will invite people to submit joyful memories of those who have passed. These memories will be read out loud, we’ll pour some libation, and we will honour our ancestors.



I think it’s vital to remember the good times with loved ones and to celebrate that.

It’s okay to cry, but it’s also okay to laugh and smile.


Sending love and light.


Ase! 


J xxx



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