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The Dangers of White Dick

Updated: Nov 28, 2018


how you doin’?

If you’re easily offended, I suggest you don’t read this.

If you’re not, thanks for taking the time out to engage with this blogpost.

There was a time where I wanted validation from white men, but thankfully I’m now passed that. This was mostly because I was only exposed to white men at university. And from engaging with lots of white men, they’re not for me. Do I find them attractive? Yes.

Do I flirt with them? Yes. Do I sleep with them? Yes. Do I put them above Black men? NO!

I’ve noticed the way Black queer men treat white men. They treat them as if they’re gods.

I have come to a theory, that if you’re a Black person who doesn’t love your Blackness,

white dick will most likely be dangerous for you.

My bestie Rheima aka Mimz said ‘It’s something that every single Black person has to go through. Rejecting white superiority.’ And it seems like a lot of Black queer men don’t want to reject it. They accept it and that’s why they’ll settle with a white man.

I know a Black man with a white man who thinks being ‘transracial’ is a thing. I know another who started to take crack cocaine just because a white man broke up with him. I know one that’s still legally married to a white man 20 years older than him, and is still hurting from the break up. He’s clearly still holding onto something. I know one that needs therapy because he just sits and watches Netflix all day feeling sorry for himself because the relationship didn't work out. Yes, breakups are hard, but he’s had enough time to get over it. They were together for only a year. It’s like as soon as white dick enters their lives they become delirious, and as soon as it leaves, they’re lost and are having mental breakdowns.

My brothers need to wake up and smell the mac and cheese! For real!

I went to UK Black Pride and 95% of the couples were interracial, that’s not a bad thing,

but it’s interesting. A Black queer man is usually with a pretty white boy, or an older white man that takes care of him. If you found genuine love, great! But, if you're a Black man who treats Black men less to how you would treat white men, I can’t fuck with you! If you disrespect Black men and respect white men, I can’t fuck with you! If you don’t date or don't find Black men attractive, I can’t fuck with you! For example, there’s this page on Facebook called ‘Black Men Who Love White Women’, and both the Black men and white women are disrespecting Black women. Yuck. Internalised racism and anti-blackness is real.

I’ve been on Grindr where old white men have asked me to join him and someone. That someone is a young Black man. A old white man organises sex parties that only includes

Black men and he just sits back and watches. A white man messaged me once, he had a collar on that said ‘BLACK OWNED’, and he divorced his wife because the ‘Black dick was just too good.’ Do I need to say more? The worst thing about it, is that there’s Black men who love being fetishised. If it works for them, and if they like being called the N-word during sex, okay. But, I find it so problematic on so many levels and they most likely need to seek help. These white men must make Black men feel secure, a security that seems they can’t get from Black men, and as a Black man I find that very heartbreaking.

In the words of Malcolm X ‘Who taught you to hate yourself?’

I dated a white guy once and after I came out of the shower, I was moisturising myself. You know as Black people do! And then he said ‘Oh, you put on quite a lot of cream.’ I rolled my eyes. And then we go to a bar, I’m the only Black person in there. I felt like many people were staring at me and I told him this. He said ‘Why would they be staring at you?’ and I said ‘Because I’m Black.’ He said ‘Oh, I don’t see colour.’ Sigh. There have been other times where I’ve explained situations to white men and they just don’t get it. And it’s made me question if I’m delusional, but I know I’m not.

I prefer not to date white men because majority of the time they fetishise me. I also try not to sleep with many because of it. And the other is because they’re not conscious, and I can’t be bothered having to educate a white man on what it’s like to be Black. Also, with being ‘Pro-Black’, I love Black Love and believe it’s important. That’s why I would prefer to be with a Black man. This is my personal choice and I’m not saying other Black people should make the same decisions as me. My preference is BLACK. It really sucks when I’m chasing after Black men, but they’re not looking at me, they’re chasing after white men. It seems like I’ll never be good enough for them, just because I’m Black.

I’m hoping that I find Black love, but it might not happen. Believe me, I’ve tried and the struggle is real. Will I end up with a white man? Who knows, it could happen, I’m not completely ruling it out. But, if I do, you best believe that motherfucker will be conscious!

J xxx

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